Please tell me I'm not crazy! Please convince me that Christian people would rather err on the side of love and not condemnation. Please share with me a time when shutting someone out has been what brought them home. Please tell me of a time when "disfellowshipping" was the best way to show the love of Christ. Help me understand how turning a cold shoulder to anyone encourages a change of behavior. How can these things be mistaken for love. Did God only show His love to those "who came around" first or did He show His love to all of us knowing that there would be those who wouldn't (come around)? I am no longer surprised by the lack of compassion and love shown to others by those that claim to be disciples.
I have a hard time envisioning Jesus ever saying "I can't be with you until you change your behavior." My impression is that it would be just the opposite. Maybe something like, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." I can't recall an instance of Christ saying, "you can be with me, but you must change your ways first." Can we say cart before the horse? Wouldn't it be better for us (those that claim to be disciples of Christ) to invite people into our fellowship.... always? I would think that by being loved, accepted, and welcomed would be the way to encourage a change in behavior.
Please, tell me I'm not crazy!
I have a hard time envisioning Jesus ever saying "I can't be with you until you change your behavior." My impression is that it would be just the opposite. Maybe something like, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." I can't recall an instance of Christ saying, "you can be with me, but you must change your ways first." Can we say cart before the horse? Wouldn't it be better for us (those that claim to be disciples of Christ) to invite people into our fellowship.... always? I would think that by being loved, accepted, and welcomed would be the way to encourage a change in behavior.
Please, tell me I'm not crazy!
posted by Mark at 8:41 AM
4 Comments:
I can understand what you are saying. I think showing love no matter is the best answer--the only example I have of disfellowship happened to my ex-husband. We both graduated from a Christian college. He was the part time youth minister and song leader at church. He had lots of influence with the youth. While the summer evening activities were going on---he was having an affair with a teacher at his school. The kids knew it before I did really. Our son was born with disabilities and it took much of my time to take care of him. The elders met with him. They prayed with him. He told them he wasn't going to change--it didn't matter what they said. They went to see him several times individually. He was very much loved---by everyone. He turned his back and the elders felt like the only thing they had left was to disfellowship him with the prayer that it would bring him back. We divorced--he had already moved in with the teacher he was having an affair with. So anyway--long story I know--but I think the elders also felt like the kids needed to know that wasn't okay. That wasn't how God wanted us to live. Had he come back and repented, he would have been welcome back. He chose not to. I am not sure of the situation you are talking about---but I am all for loving and not judging.
no answers more questions...
We all sin no?? We all continue in behavior that would be considered sinful?? selfishness, greed, gluttony, so who do you fellowship????
Anonymous.....
Thanks for your comment and I am sorry to hear about this happening to you. Life can certainly be cruel. I agree wholeheartedly that the kids and others needed to know that the behavior of your husband was not OK and unacceptable. I definitely could understand him losing his place as a youth worker and you doing what was necessary in regards to the marriage. I would never advocate anyone "accepting" bad or inappropriate behavior, but the idea that someone can't be among other disciples at all is something I don't get. Where else is that person ever going to receive the counsel, guidance, and mentoring that is (in my experience) necessary for changes in behavior and attitude?
Very true! So I have no answer to that--but I do wonder....what does it mean in Matthew 18:15? He says if your brother won't listen, then treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector--but then, in the Sermon on the Mount he talks about loving our enemies--to do good to those who hate us. I do think there is a point when the brother we are talking to and praying for can turn their backs on God. I know we can't know hearts, but we can know them by their fruits.
It wasn't my idea to get divorced--it was his. I was ready to dig in and work things out and do whatever it took--I married for better for worse--and I loved him. He wanted none of it.
I do think it's a two way street. It takes much prayer and fasting and listening to know what to do in those difficult relationships. :-)
Post a Comment
<< Home